The Greatest Stories

“You read and write and sing and experience, thinking that one day these things will build the character you admire to live as. You love and lose and bleed best you can, to the extreme, hoping that one day the world will read you like the poem you want to be.” Charlotte Eriksson

I think I value stories more than other people. I do have a blog called "Stories," after all. Nobody else I know of has a list of there favorite stories saved, on the off chance someone might want to pick one, sit back, and listen.

With that in mind, I'd like to ask for some input. I tried to narrow my ever-growing list of stories into the very best of them. But more than just my personal favorite stories or the ones I most enjoy telling, I want to know which my friends and family like most.

With that said, here's your task, should you so choose it. Below is a list of most of my stories, organized by broad categories. (A few have been strategically omitted for various reasons. Some tales need to be told only at the right time.) I would love for you let me know which of them you like best. If you haven't heard/read any of these stories, or if there are a few unknowns that pique your interest, feel free to mention them as well. My desire is to hone my story-telling, both oral and written, and I want to practice by telling the most compelling and memorable. (For those of you who were forced to listen to my stories during Wednesday night devos the last two years at Camp of the Hills, those are italicized! You're welcome!)

Personal Injury:

Rock to the Head, Snake in the Canoe, The Rope-Swing Incident, The Bike Ramp, The Shopping Cart, Spinal Meningitis, Chain-Link Fence, Downhill Cliff Paddle-Boating, The 4-Wheeler, Christian Zone Roof, Street Luge, B.B. Gun Rambo, Why I Shouldn't Dance, Peanut Butter Skit, NFL Defensive End and the Burnet Emergency Room, Shovel to the Face, Week 3, 2009, Joey New, Kirby Punch Hug,

Girl Stories:

The Proposal, Wedding First Dance, Thai Food Dance, The Hand-Hold, The Cardboard Cut-Out, I Wanna Be, Homecoming 2003, Prom 2002, Prom 2003, Prom-blems (Prom 2004)

the Summer 2006 Camper Letters, the 10 Hour Drive, Painting the House, "Allergies Be Darned!" Crushed Up Crystals, The Accidental Note, Summer 2009 Narrative, Snaturday, First Time Ros and I met Shannon

Faith:

Cambodia 2009, How We Became a Part of St. Ann's, Killagarden, Blake Box,

Gerald’s Mustang,

Miscellaneous Stories:

The Rattle Snake, "I'm Afraid of Bugs!", Drew's First Day at Camp of the Hills, The Ninja Escapades, Week 7 2004, Week 7 2005 Wednesday, Turtle Watch 2004, The Liaison Days, Chiang Mai Night Market, 648, The Pillow Fights of 07, Cave Writings in the Tomb, the Flood of 2007, The Freshman Year Debauchal, Final Day of Camp 2005, The Quandre Experience, Dead Man in a Culligan Truck, The Princess (Skit) Diaries, Halloween Costumes (Aggie Dad, Braveheart, and Leonidas) Waterfall Losses, The Wolf Den Prank War, The Epic Bonfire, Last Day at JM, Wipin' Butt and Gettin' Beaten, Summer 2007 Crucifixions, Why I Hate Hay, The Story of the Vince Dive, Lesser Known Camp Fire, Nalgene Bottle and Explosives, Harlem Shake-Off, Giant Hamster/Pancake Narrative, The Beast, B1/B2 Celtic Games, Cherokee Indian Basketball, Astros Rally Underwear, Bungee Jumping, Obstacle Course, Pocket of Sushi,  I'm a Seoul Man, GATA Formal '09, Journey Air Band, Natural Disasters and Ambulances (Week 1, 2009), Memorial Day Kayaking (The Best Day Ever), CotHiosis Epidemic, Dining Hall Fire, Mono, Kayaking with Rosten and the Kirbys, “Chris fell in the poo,” Tug of War 2012, Winter Wonderland Prank, Toad in the Sidewalk Crack, Pneumonia! You’re my Kryptonite!, Office Depot: Delivering Disaster,

Linking for Thinking - 9/9/12

Every Sunday, I'll be whittling my reading list down to a few links that I found particularly interesting from the past week. Some may be profound/deep thinking articles or news stories, others may be things that fascinate me or made me laugh. Some will be on issues I already agree with, others will be those that have challenged me to think in new ways. If there's anything you think I'd be interested in, or something you think might be worth sharing in this space, feel free to leave it in the comments section, email me at coth.guy@gmail.com, or hit me up on facebook.

Lifehack of the Week
If you have a tiny bathroom with little storage space and need somewhere to keep a few towels and washcloths handy consider buying an inexpensive nesting basket set from a discount housewares store and mounting the baskets to your wall to provide an easy and inexpensive way to keep bathroom linens handy.

A Community Called Forgiveness (by Dr. Richard Beck)
Because isn't the problem with Christianity that we want God to forgive us but we don't care about being reconciled to others? Isn't it much easier to pray to God for forgiveness than to put in all the time and relational work to live at peace with others?

Simply Seeing
I simply saw her as a mom who cares deeply for her children, just as I am a dad who cares deeply for mine. I simply saw her as a parent who trusts me to be a teacher for her child and for her.

Is Americanism the Fourth Biblical World Religion? (Via David Smith)
But Leithart’s message is not about people who explicitly affirm that their religion is America; it’s about how America has come to regard itself as “God’s New Israel.”

The Amazing Speeches of Women in the Conventions makes the Silence of Women in the Church that much more Deafening
Not having the voices of women in the Church is not just sad for women but even worse, it’s sad and a deep loss for the Church. We’re missing out on the stories, convictions, and challenges from the Ann Romneys, Condi Rices, and Michelle Obamas within our churches. 

Draft Day with Royce White (Warning: Slight language at the end of the video)
For us, Royce (a 6-foot-8 forward from Iowa State) was the most suspenseful and important story in the draft — someone blessed with an extraordinary combination of skills and size, and also with a refreshing openness about his mental condition. His doctors call it "generalized anxiety disorder," a condition defined as "constant worry."

Is the Death Penalty Racist?
Five Connecticut death row inmates are suing the state to get their sentences overturned because they argue race and geographic bias played a part in their prosecution.

Playing in NFL Triples Risk of Alzheimers and Parkinsons Diseases
NFL players are three times as likely as the general population to die from a neurodegenerative disease such as Alzheimer's disease or Parkinson's disease, according to a new Centers for Disease Control study of retired NFL players.

Super Mario Summary
Check out this online game that summarizes the original Super Mario Brothers game. It brought back some fond memories!

Reflections on Football in the South by A&M Coach Kevin Sumlin's Father
William Sumlin is hesitant to get into it. He doesn't want to go all PBS documentary on his son Kevin as he prepares for his first game as head coach at Texas A&M on Saturday. But as a high school coach in the segregated South a half-century ago, William Sumlin will allow that he never, ever thought the day would come when his son would be a head coach in the Southeastern Conference.

God and our Political Platforms (by Rachel Held Evans)
But this is the danger of civic religion: it convinces us that God’s name is the same as God’s presence; it convinces us that we’ve “won” when we hear the right words, regardless of whether we’ve seen the  right fruit. 

NFL Defensive End and the Burnet Emergency Room

My final night as a counselor at Camp of the Hills was a doozy. I had been working at camp all summer, every summer from 2002 through 2008, and I knew that I didn't have it in me to be in the cabins for another year. I didn't know what the future would hold, though I imagined I'd be doing some sort of behind-the-scenes work at CotH the next summer. In my mind, I needed to go out with a bang.

Each week on our final night of camp, we held a massive camper appreciation banquet, followed by the award ceremony. Each camper earns two awards, and are called forward to receive them and hug all their counselors. They are split into cabins, so the announcers read off the cabin number before going into the awards, giving each cabins' group of counselors the chance to celebrate before their campers' names are called.

First half we were a little short on counselors, so often it was just me and my friend Daniel Tomkins holding down the fort in Cabin B1. Our weekly celebratory move was a flying chest-bump whenever the emcee called out B1. Daniel was smaller than me, so we never really went all out on the chest-bump, for fear of him getting knocked into oblivion. Four weeks of celebrations, and no injuries for either of us.

Second half saw camp gain several new counselors, including Brandon Green. How can I describe him? How about by pointing you to his wikipedia page? Yeah, he definitely used to be an NFL Defensive End. He's a big dude. And he was in B1 with me and another new guy named Travis.

I informed Brandon of how our B1 celebrations went down each week, and he hesitantly agreed to try the chest-bump out with me. When B1 (also known as B-uno) was called on Friday night of Week 5, we ran towards each other, and collided. Much to my surprise and to the enjoyment of the kids watching, I bounced off of his barrel chest like a rag doll. I hit the ground, rolled a little, then jumped up and continued cheering for our cabin.

Week 6 was the same story, only a new chapter. In a kind attempt to repair my broken pride, Brandon offered to chest-bump me again, but this time he would ensure that he was the one who ended up on the ground. He pulled it off with the acting prowess of a champ, and for a brief moment, I stood over a man who had once sacked the quarterback on Monday Night Football.

The chest-bump was put in storage for Week 7, because it was the first and only time I had ever been asked to be the emcee for the awards ceremony. But in the back of my mind, I knew I had one more week to go all out.

I started convincing Brandon early, since I knew it would be a hard sell. "Dude, we should run full speed for our final chest-bump! It'd be awesome!" He was certainly hesitant, most likely because he didn't want to seriously injure me. But by the end of the week, he had reluctantly agreed to the proposition.

The emcees were finishing reading off the girls of G1 when I locked eyes with Brandon, and walked to the other side of the line. One foot on the ground, one on the wall, both hands behind me and ready to push off for maximum velocity. The emcee started to announce our cabin, but looked at Brandon and me ready to sprint, and took a few exaggerated steps out of the way. He spoke into the mic. "Give it up for B1!"

I shoved off the wall and dug in as best I could, scrambling for any extra momentum I could gain in the 25 or so feet before we would collide. Brandon had exploded off the wall, and the terror I felt made me thankful that I never played quarterback. In a matter of seconds, we were both airborne.

It's imperative that for chest-bumps, both parties arch their backs, thus presenting their chests forward for said bumping. As chest-bump experts, both Brandon and I were well aware of this need. We executed this maneuver perfectly, with one slight miscalculation.

When my 180 pound frame came into contact with him, my entire body whiplashed forward. My legs went flailing, the rest of my body flew forward, and my head snapped towards him. The head snapping forward was the bad part. Thankfully, neither of us were concussed when my chin collided with his right cheek, but something definitely gave way.

We were both knocked backward and onto the floor from the collision. We rolled around, a bit then rejoined the hug line, where we were greeted with wide-eyed counselors. Andrew Carman, a former camper of mine and good friend, was standing next to me. I was holding my chin, since it hurt so bad, but he told me to move my hands. He looked at it for a moment and said, "Drew, I can see your chin bone." By this time, I had started to bleed, so I ran to the bathroom to grab some paper towels. There I met Brandon again, who was nursing a large cut on his cheek. I hurriedly apologized, applied damp paper towels to my chin, then ran back to hug our kids.

It was apparent that the wound was not going to close on its own. After my kids had gone through the hug line, I booked it to the nurse's station, where Brandon was already being patched up. By my boss, Derick. And his boss, Mel. And one of Mel's bosses, a board member. Oops.

They chose kindness in that moment, and didn't lecture me on stupidity, though I felt like that would have been well within their rights. Instead they told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was going to the E.R. I protested, because I wanted to enjoy the last night with the kids, but they won out. Brandon and I hopped in his truck, and rolled out to the Burnet County Emergency Room.

It was a surprisingly fun trip. Brandon is a very chill person, and didn't seem that upset with me. Several times we would just look at each other and bust out laughing. Over the next five hours, I would be admitted and receive three stitches, and Brandon would be fixed up with that new-fangled cut-healing glue. We got back to camp long after movie night was over.

That chest-bump was not one of the smarter decisions I've ever been a part of, but to this day I still brag about putting an NFL player in the hospital with one hit.